Funny Wedding Poems

A series of funny poems about engagements, weddings and marriages. The early poems in the series rejoice in the romance of marriage, but the tone changes mid-series and the later poems become darker and more cynical. There are a smattering of sexual references, but there's a whole section devoted to funny sex poems still to come.

On the Roof

Quite a number of people will have arrived here looking for funny wedding poems, suitable for livening up an otherwise dull best man's speech. On the Roof is a funny wedding poem, but no guarantee is offered as to its 'suitability for purpose'.

A Marriage Made in Heaven

A cute little poem about an interspecies marriage and its consequences.

I Wanna Hold Her Hand

A poem about the changes marriage brings to a relationship...

Marriage Observation

...and a companion piece about how men treat their most treasured possessions.

Marriage Views

A poem which sounds like it's the translation of a traditional Eastern European folk saying, yet is hilariously funny - for women at least.

A Hand In Marriage

Love, Marriage, Sex and Death...   It's all foretold in the cards.


An inalienable truth about relationships encapsulated in a short funny poem.

Small Beer

A husband discovers after his marriage that his wife's approach to saving money is rather one sided.

Not Being Previous

A funny poem about pre-marital sex. No more, no less!


An amusing poem about a young man pothering over asking his beloved for her hand in marriage. I must confess I was unfamiliar with the word pothering, but it means a state of dithering anxiety.

A New Broom

A slightly silly poem about two brooms and a shotgun wedding. It would be nonsense verse, except it has a slightly murky moral undercurrent.

Wedding Super

A funny poem offering two super heroes advice on how to behave after their marriage.

Taking Issue

A henpecked husband complains about the treatment he receives from his wife.

She Who Must Be

A bitter-sweet verse which gives voice to the feeling accompanying the three phases of relationships, from initial infatuation, through marriage to divorce.

A Deep Desire

A funny poem about dreams of uxoricide.

The Candy Man

While marriage can be the making of a man, it can also be the slippery slope to self-destruction.

Wedding Vow

A short funny poem about marriage which sounds as though it could be the translation of a Eastern European folk saying. Wedding Vows would be ideal for a best man's speech, provided that bride is at least something of a looker.

Confessions Of A Hooker

A funny wedding poem on a sporting theme. Again, this poem is eminently suitable to use in a best man's speech, but it might be as well to check that the bride doesn't have history.

Never Again

Appropriately to end the marriage poetry section, a short, cynical poem about divorce.