My memory takes me back
To a time when I was young
And I was pleasurably distracted by Doreen
Dear Doreen who people rather unkindly called plain
True her face was heavily freckled
And she rarely wore any makeup
But her eyes were the most dazzling blue and always smiled
Her hair was straight and chestnut brown
She was a skinny little thing and flat chested
But with the most exquisite bottom
I don’t know why people thought her plain
Maybe it’s because Doreen is a plain sounding name
I know one thing that is true
They would never have called her plain
If they had seen her in the bedroom
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