Funny Valentine Poems

Let's kick off with a three of Patrick Winstanley's Valentine's poems on the theme of geeks and love. The first is an ideal poem to ensnare a geek, as it provides a heady mix of romance, humour and html. Ideally it should be sent via email, but if you have to deliver it in person try saying it in a strong West Indian accent, which gives the ~ just the right balance between passion and insistence.

A Valentine to a Geek

<strong>as an ox</strong>
<b>as a lion</b>
you will be mine
~ end of time

If the geek you've set your sights on is receptive to your romantic advances, you may very well receive an equally baffling valentine verse in reply:

Sweet 16

Roses are #D20202
Violets are #6666D2
My dreams are hexadecimal
And so too are you

The next poem is not strictly a valentine poem, but it does explain why so many men (not just geeks) get the romance thing wrong on Valentine's Day (and not just on Valentine's Day).

Men are from Mars

If men are from Mars
And Women are from Venus
A martian man's head
Is still ruled by his penis

To follow, a rather more conventional poem for Valentine's Day by Paul which has as its ingredients a loving relationship and a box of chocolates...

Sweet Mystery

For Valentines Day
My husband, so sweet
Bought hand made chocolates
For me as a treat
In a flower covered box
Came the delicious confection
But I am at a loss to answer
A most curious question
How can two pounds of chocs
So delicious on the lips
Manage in just one night
To put 5lbs on my hips

In conclusion, a straight funny poem by Paul, which pivots around one of those classical misunderstanding which make relationships both frustrating and fun!

Romantic Gesture

My wife told me to be more romantic
And to book a table for Valentines Day
When we arrived at the snooker hall
I can tell you there was all hell to pay

More Funny Valentines Poems

Short Cheesy Valentines Poems | Bitter Sweet Valentines Poems | Twisted Valentines Poems

Romantic Valentine Poems

Or for the traditionalists, a selection of Paul's romantic valentine poems encompassing love, lust and loss.